


i feel conned

by makemelovely



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, If You Squint - Freeform, Short & Sweet, a little Angel the Series, mostly BtVS, mostly just short, poor Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 04:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12623592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemelovely/pseuds/makemelovely
Summary: Harmony's smile wobbles but it doesn't fall. Not now. Not ever.





	i feel conned

Harmony blinks once, twice. She breathes in and plasters a bright smile on her face. "Like, totally Cordy." It's the wrong thing to say judging on the way her eyes narrow. They are dark brown and filled with annoyance.

"Shut up, Harmony." Cordelia snaps, flouncing off to hang out with the self proclaimed Scooby Gang. Harmony watches her go, mouth agape and a pit of something she can't quite name in her stomach.

(it's despair, it's loneliness, it's self hatred. it's all of the above and more).

+

Harmony smiles, bats wide blue eyes, and twirls her hair. "You look hot." She says aloud, blushing when she realizes she spoke out loud. He laughs, cheeks heating up.

"Thanks, Harm." He leans closer, brushing his fingers against her waist. "You look pretty hot too." His eyes flash with something Harmony thinks is hunger. She doesn't know why but she doesn't really care. It's nice to have the good things in life. The things that matter.

(money, good clothes, hot guys, fancy cars, grand houses).

His lips taste like bruises and his tongue tastes slimy, like broken dates and fake promises.

+

"You deserve better." Dawn awkwardly pats her back, glancing around nervously. "Spike's an idiot."

Harmony sniffled, looking up at Dawn with a tearstained face. "Really?"

Dawn smiles, grabbing her hand and squeezing gently. "Really."

Harmony locks eyes with Dawn, and even when she lunges for her neck she doesn't break eye contact.

Her ribs hurt for, like, a week after Buffy kicks her ass.

+

"Do you ever think about how small we are compared to everything else?" Harmony asks, lying out in the sun. Her skin isn't very tan yet (not like Cordy's) but her hair seems lighter. Blonde looks good on her. Always has.

"No." Cordelia snorts. She's beside her, sunglasses on and brown hair spread around her like a halo. She looks beautiful. "That kind of thinking is for losers who aren't as important as me." A beat of silence. Harmony is sure Cordy can feel Harm's expecting eyes on her. "As us." She corrects herself as an afterthought.

"Oh." Harmony goes quiet, fiddling with her fingers.

Cordelia reaches over, linking their fingers together and dragging them down beside both of them. Harmony glows and the contact makes her skin burn. "You should really go on a diet." Cordelia leans up on her elbows, a mean gleam in her pretty brown eyes. "Your thighs are looking a little big." Cordelia's smirk is a little cruel. It's odd. It looks completely out of place on her face but it's also like it's come home.

Harmony looks down at her thighs, swallowing roughly. Tears prick at the corner of her eyes but she refuses to let the tears fall. She could definitely trim down her thighs a little bit. Harm glances at Cordelia's thighs. On second thought, she could trim down a lot more.

+

"I love you." Harmony twines her arms around Spike's neck and cuddles closer. It's weird, the coldness of his skin. It's like he's dead.

Actually he is dead. But it's weird that she's dead. Every time she goes to look in the mirror it's a surprise. It's terrible.

"Bleeding Hell, Harm! Get off me, you bat." Spike snapped, practically ripping Harmony's arms off just to get her off of him.

Harmony's smile wobbles but it doesn't fall. Not now. Not ever. "Sorry, Spikey." Harmony batted her lashes at him, leaning closer to flaunt her assets.

His jaw clenched but then relaxed. His icy fingers wrapped around her wrist and yanked, pulling her forward with a hard jerk. "Ow!" Harmony squealed but quickly shut her mouth when she saw the furious glare he shot her.

They finally made it back to the crypt when he spoke to her. "You look so much better when you aren't flapping your trap." Spike growls in her ear. Harmony blushes smiles, feels her heart break. He kisses her, mouth moving steadily over hers while he unbuckles his pants.

Harmony doesn't cry that night but she does in the morning when dawn breaks.

+

"Shut up, Harmony!" Cordelia shouts for the millionth time. 

Harmony flinches, jerking back away from the angry eyes of Cordelia Chase. Cordy just makes a noise of disgust all the way at the back of her throat before she stomps off, the rest of the girls flitting after her. They either shoot Harmony pity glances or angry ones. They all have to deal with Cordelia when one of them inevitably pisses her off.

+

"You don't need her you know." Anya tells her one time, brown eyes kind. They look a little like Cordy's.

"I know." Harmony finally replies.

+

"I do need her." Harmony finally admits as she stares in the mirror. Her eyes are blank and she isn't sure she can talk without adding some sort of statement on to Cordelia's.

The truth tastes bitter but it's sweet when it flies off her tongue.

+

When Cordelia finally confronts Harmony it's like looking in a mirror. A funhouse mirror, duh, because they look nothing alike. On the outside, that is. On the inside they are the same. Pretty popular girls who smile with their whole soul. But is it still as pretty if their soul begins to flake away?

"You're a loser, Cordelia. You aren't welcome anymore. Buh-bye." Harmony waves her away, lips pulled into a cruel sneer. It feels good. No. That's not it.

It feels powerful.

Harmony likes that feeling.

+

Harmony's smile falls, just a little bit. Her eyes are watering and tears begin to slide down. She swipes them away and murmurs something in a broken tone.

"I just wanted to be liked."

Oh, the world is cruel. But so are you.


End file.
